The Penguin Snare: How a New Play Is Opening Up Conversations About Coercive Control

When writer and actor Jacob Utzon Krefeld began working on his debut play The Penguin Snare, he knew he wanted to do more than simply portray domestic abuse on stage. Instead, he set out to show how friendship, love and persistence can help interrupt and challenge the cycle of coercive control.

“It’s my attempt not so much to tell what abuse looks like,” he explains, “but how friendship or love can break the cycle of abuse… an encouragement to anyone who is involved with someone in a situation that might be growing out of their control.”

 

— Jacob Utzon Krefeld

 

The Dash Charity recently sat down with Jacob to talk about the play, coercive control, and the role theatre can play in supporting survivor wellbeing and public awareness.

 

A story rooted in lived experience

 

For Jacob, domestic abuse is not an abstract subject. A close family member is a survivor, and that experience shaped both his life and the writing process.
He describes living for a long time with a sense of guilt and shame about not recognising the abuse sooner:

“It’s still there,” he says. “I get that rush in my gut – ‘I should have done something.’ Of course, that person feels everyone did what they could and no one did anything wrong. But it doesn’t change that you wish you could have seen it or helped earlier, because you realise what horrendous things a person has gone through.”

 

That combination of personal connection and professional curiosity as an actor – wanting to understand different characters, lives and choices – led him to develop The Penguin Snare over three years.

 

A darkly comic thriller about coercive control

Originally, the play centred on two characters: a perpetrator and a victim. But early drafts felt overwhelmingly heavy.
“It felt like you asked people to come in and be dragged through this experience again, but in a short amount of time,” Jacob says. “It didn’t seem like it brought anything new or beneficial.”

To change that, he introduced a third character and leaned into an “apple and orange” friendship between two very different women. Their dynamic brings humour, resilience and tenderness, balancing the darker elements of coercive control with light-hearted moments and connection.

 

The result is a dark comedic thriller that shows how abuse can operate beneath the surface – and how friendship and persistence can offer a way forward.

 

Creating safe spaces around difficult stories

From the beginning, Jacob and the team were determined to build safe, trauma-informed spaces for both actors and audiences.
In rehearsals, the cast agreed a safe word. If anyone felt triggered, overwhelmed or simply needed a break, they could say the word and everything would stop. There would be no questions asked; instead, the director would check in and offer more time if needed.

“The actors later said they hadn’t been in a process like that before,” Jacob recalls.
“It felt really nice that they felt looked after.”

— Jacob Utzon Krefeld

 

The same principles were used for audiences. Before performances, Jacob explained that:

• the play includes coercive control and abuse,
• the space is safe,
• anyone can leave at any point if they feel triggered or unwell, and
• exactly how to exit the room if they need to.

This practical, non-judgemental approach mirrors The Dash Charity’s belief that people engaging with domestic abuse content should have choice, agency and clear signposting to support.

 

Challenging stereotypes and naming coercive control

One of Jacob’s priorities is to challenge persistent stereotypes about “what domestic abuse looks like”.
“For most people, when you say ‘domestic abuse’, you imagine a guy in a vest drinking beer… a working-class man who likes to beat his wife,” he says. “We want to talk about the whole range. Abuse can happen in any class, any setting, any gender.”

He describes coercive control as a pattern of behaviour aimed at gaining power, entitlement and control, often using tactics such as gaslighting and blame-shifting. These can sometimes resemble ordinary relationship behaviour on the surface, which is why education and awareness are so important.

After a research and development (R&D) performance of The Penguin Snare, audience feedback revealed that around 78.6% of attendees said they had learned about coercive control through the play. Many had not previously recognised the behaviours they saw on stage as abusive.

 

Why The Dash Charity’s involvement matters

Following performances, The Dash Charity participated in Q&A panels alongside Jacob and other experts. These panels allowed audiences to:

• ask questions about coercive control and domestic abuse,
• hear from people with professional knowledge and lived experience, and
• connect the fictional story to real-world support and information.
  
  “Without that panel,” Jacob reflects, “most people wouldn’t have gotten half as much out of it. They’d have watched a story, hopefully enjoyed it, but wouldn’t have had anything to connect the dots with. The panel gives that holistic picture.”

The conversation even inspired at least one audience member to volunteer with The Dash Charity, showing how theatre and discussion can lead directly to community action.

 

Theatre, wellbeing and the urgency of talking about abuse

Supported by Arts Council England, The Penguin Snare is still in early stages. Jacob hopes to take it to fringe venues and, ultimately, off-West End or West End stages, with potential for touring.
“I personally think art is the most effective way to change someone’s view or start a conversation,” he says. “Abuse in the UK is very high, and we really need to talk about it now. It’s very urgent.”

 

For The Dash Charity, collaborations like this are a powerful way to:

• raise awareness of coercive control and non-physical abuse,
• support survivors’ voices and wellbeing,
• reach new audiences with clear, accessible information, and
• invite people to take action – whether by seeking support, learning more, or getting involved.

A message of love, respect and hope

Asked what message he would like to share with survivors, families and friends reading The Dash Charity’s newsletter, Jacob offers a simple but important reminder:

“We all need to remind ourselves that love and respect without judgement goes a long way. Give that love, give people that respect and withhold that judgement – and maybe you’ll find you’re now in a conversation that can create change.”

 

— Jacob Utzon Krefeld

 

Need support or want to get involved?

 

If anything in this article resonates with you, or you are worried about your relationship or someone else’s, The Dash Charity is here to help.

• If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
• For confidential advice and support around domestic abuse and coercive control, you can contact The Dash Charity through our usual channels. 
• Between 23 December 2025 and 09:30 AM 2 January 2026 you can call Refuge on their Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247

You can also:

• Learn more about coercive control and healthy relationships through our resources and programmes.
• Support our work so we can continue raising awareness and providing life-saving services for adults and children experiencing domestic abuse.
• Get involved as a volunteer, partner or supporter and be part of changing the story for families in our community.